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Your UCP: National September 03, 2003
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Parent message:
twin brother with cp
Current message:
I have twins also
Nancy Record (nrecord@communityforum.info)
Hello: I have boy/girl twins that are now 13 years old. My daughter has moderate CP and significant cognitive deficits. She is very happy, can crawl, a big smile and is like a 1 1/2 year old except she is now bigger than me! Her twin brother, has an extremely high IQ along with ADHD - he is into aggressive-inline skating and is fearless. He has often voiced a desire to be able to communicate with his sister as he "has so much he wants to tell her about his life". He also wishes he had another brother or sister who was "normal". She adores him but they don't know how to communicate with each other so they tend to rough house - which is what she thinks she is supposed to do with him. Such as pulling his hair or pinching him. We are working on this. Anyway, my son always wondered what was wrong with him when his sister used to go to school on the bus from the age of 3 - she was in an early intervention program from 6 months on at the local school. He wondered why he was not going to school and thought maybe he was not smart enough. I suggest the following: do not feel guilty that you have to spend more time with the other twin - he needs the extra help. Also, try to set aside some special time with your son who does not have CP - take special walks, go to the library alone, to the zoo, etc. Read with him before bed so he feels connected. I have been open and honest with my son about his sister's extra needs. He is now frustrated that I have to pick him up from events by 8 p.m. because his sister goes to bed at 8 p.m. and if she stays up later I can't get her up the steps to her bedroom. His other friends get to stay at the indoor skatepark on the weekends until 9 or 10p.m. He just has to understand that there is not much we can do about this - I am a single mother and we can't always be asking everyone to bring him home late at night. I have also taught him to say his sister has a brain injury when people ask why she can't walk or talk very well. I have preferred this to the term brain damage. When people stare when we are out in public he gets very angry and I have had to help him get past this and say that only in the past decade have many children like his sister been a part of their community so people are not used to seeing severely handicapped children - and aren't we lucky that his sister gets to stay with us in her own home. I know i
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